Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I guess I really am stupid. I can't handle anything. I've been busting my ass to stay on top of work and classes and here I am again, failing miserably. My grade point average is 1.6.  What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm running out of options and I can't even kill myself right.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I wake up, 4am, spitting large puddles of blood into a tissue next to my pillow.  My stitches came loose, shit.  I shoot up out of bed trying to run to find gauze but I stood up too fast. CRASH to the floor. Scraping my back against an end table I see the grey sparkles and begin to feel warmth flowing from my head to my toes and lots of warmth in my ... hands? Oh yeah, bleeding. Blood, piles of it. I sit there for a moment like a child admiring my pale blood shining through the spots of grey that are fading away.