I kissed 5 boys in 2009. Most of them were just little bye bye or silly kisses. Some of them weren't. A lot of them weren't.

My skin is on too tight.

Sometimes a tidal wave of blackness comes over me.

And I wish I could look at him and say "that's mine." But I'm drowning in the uncertainty, patience doesn't offer a breath. I'm sinking as the air escapes in bubbles and flows to the surface, my lungs draining from every compartment. I look into his eyes one last time and my lungs fill with water, they fill to the brim, they overflow.